At a Lecture
After seeing a couple of customers in the morning and early afternoon, I picked up Mark (who had invited me to my first silent retreat,) at 4:00 PM and headed to the Passionist Retreat Center in Sierra Madre. The objective of the Silent Retreat was to turn off the noise, the hustle and bustle of the world from Friday evening until noon Sunday, so people could hear our Shepherd’s “still, small voice.”
As I was sitting in Possenti Hall awaiting the beginning of the Welcome lecture, after which there would be silence (something I longed for,) there was this loud, irritating chatter of the 70-80 men. Being the introvert I am, and a first-timer, I sat there feeling like a stranger, left out, and slightly disgruntled. After a while I tuned into my feeling, and shortly afterwards heard our Shepherd say, Hear with my ears, Terry.
So, I did, and that’s when I began hearing the happy chatter of 70-80 men who were greeting friends they hadn’t seen since the last retreat a year before.
A bit later I saw an extraordinarily fat man, and my habitual attitude popped up. Then our Shepherd said, See with my eyes, Terry. Now, here’s the thing – when I heard, Hear with my ears and obeyed, my irritation vanished. When I heard, See with my eyes, my judgmental attitude disappeared in an instant, and I was at peace.
In the course of the lecture that quiet whisper, our Shepherd’s voice told me, Speak with my voice, Terry and a bit later, Hope with my faith. Then, Feel with my heart.
At Supper
At lunch the next day, we had been served a tuna sandwich with a side of multi-colored spiral pasta on a lettuce leaf. A pretty presentation. That leaf was the first thing I ate. But I noticed on my way out after lunch, as I walked by about 40 empty plates, that gracing most of those plates was a leaf of lettuce.
It appears, though, that our chef wasn’t going to let that slide. We were going to get our healthy greens! At supper, already sitting at every place when we entered, was a big bowl of salad. Apparently, we got the message. In ten minutes, it was all gone.
The bowls were picked up, and we waited for the next course. And we waited . . . and waited. While this was no problem for me – I’ve been blessed with a tremendous measure of patience, I was thinking, “This has got to be tough for some of the folks here, the go-getters. But then, the retreat’s theme this year is “Holy Waiting.” So, this gives them an opportunity to apply what we’ve been learning,” and thought no more about it.
And, of course, the main dish did eventually arrive. There were individual plates of pork on a bed of string pasta, as well as a single plate with sliced French bread. One of our table-mates asked out loud for someone to pass the bread. 
I immediately felt a minor irritation, thinking, “but we were specifically told to maintain silence during meals. Use hand signals to get what you want.” Then our Shepherd spoke up, Hear with my ears, Terry. See with my eyes, feel with my heart. And my ears went deaf to his faux-pas, my eyes saw a brother in Christ, and my heart relaxed and rejoiced that he was here instead of home watching TV.
In time, the empty plates were gathered, and we waited for dessert . . . and waited . . . and waited some more. So, with time on my hands, I focused on the brother who had spoken and began blessing him. Then, seemingly with more time before dessert arrived, I began silently blessing each of the men at the table, praying that each of them go home with what he needed from the retreat. Still waiting . . . “OK – now pray for the whole room, Terry. God can handle it.” Just then, the flan showed up.
So, with only the sound of spoons clinking against glasses, we finished off our meal. But before anyone got up to leave, the executive chef came around to each table and quietly told us, “When you’re finished, stay put. Don’t leave until you’re dismissed.” Everyone enjoyed their yummy dessert, then . . . waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.
This time I began praying for those in the room who were stressed by the waiting. I prayed that they all relax, release any tension they were feeling, and remember to simply wait in peace. And, to the best of my knowledge, they did!
“Thank you, Father, for providing us a Shepherd to teach me Your righteous ways, how to live in Christ’s loving spirit.”
Recent Comments